45 Ways You Can Help Your Parents Avoid Loneliness
Senior Care Expert | Geriatric Care Manager | 25+ Years Experience
Are you worried your mother or father is lonely? Does she complain no one calls her, her friends have passed on, she has nothing to do? Does she look sadder than usual? There are lots of ways you can help.
Quick Summary (TL;DR)
- Loneliness is a health crisis: Social isolation increases risk of dementia, heart disease, and early death by up to 50%.
- Daily connection matters: Regular phone calls, video chats, and family activities combat isolation effectively.
- Community engagement helps: Classes, volunteer work, senior centers, and hobby groups provide meaningful social interaction.
- Technology bridges distance: Video calls, social media, and digital platforms help seniors stay connected with loved ones.
- Your time is the gift: Regular involvement, shared activities, and helping them stay socially engaged are the most powerful tools.
Study, after study has shown that the most important factor associated with human happiness is not money, power, fame or achievement. It's creating and having deep and meaningful relationships with family, friends and community.
The stakes are higher than you think: According to the Surgeon General's report, social isolation and loneliness in older adults increase the risk of premature death by 50%, comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes per day. Lonely seniors face higher risks of dementia (50% increase), heart disease (29% increase), and stroke (32% increase).
So, how can you help your mother or father avoid loneliness? Give them the gift of friendship, connection and social interaction. The possibilities are endless. In that vein, we're going to list all the ways we can think of where you can help your mother or father foster, grow and "lean in" on their relationships.
Warning Signs Your Parent May Be Lonely
Watch for these indicators that isolation is becoming a problem:
- Complaining that "no one calls" or "everyone has forgotten about me"
- Seeming sadder, more withdrawn, or less interested in activities they used to enjoy
- Not maintaining their appearance or home as they once did
- Mentioning repeatedly that friends have passed away or moved
- Calling you much more frequently than usual, often about minor things
- Expressing feelings of being a burden or not wanting to "bother" anyone
- Declining invitations or seeming less motivated to leave home
- Memory or cognitive changes (loneliness accelerates cognitive decline)
How You Can Help Your Parents Avoid Loneliness
Daily & Weekly Family Connection (The Foundation)
1. Call your mother or father on the way to, or back from, work every day
2. Have your kids say good night to your mother or father every night before bed via video chat
3. Have your mother or father read a bed time story to the grand kids every night via video chat
4. Invite your mother or father for dinner at least once per week
5. Invite your mother or father over for Sunday brunch
6. Invite your mother or father over to watch a movie with the whole family on Netflix
7. Invite your mother or father to watch the grand kids play their soccer, baseball or football games
8. Bring your mother or father along to watch the kids play in the park
9. Bring your mother or father along when you go to the mall or grocery shopping
Community & Social Activities
10. Enroll your mother or father in hobby classes e.g. painting, pottery, wood working, sculpture, birding, etc..
11. Enroll your mother or father in continuing education classes or discussion groups e.g. current events, history, astronomy, etc...
12. Enroll your mother or father in regularly scheduled social games e.g. mahjong, bridge, dominoes, poker, chess, backgammon, bingo, kanasta
13. Enroll your mother or father in a regularly scheduled physical activity e.g. swim, gym, yoga, aerobics, lawn bowling, tennis
14. Enroll your mother or father in a dance class for seniors
15. Help your mother or father volunteer e.g. local hospital, library, soup kitchen, school
16. Have your mother or father join the local Church, synagogue, mosque, or temple
17. Have your mother or father join the local senior center or Y
Facilitating Existing Friendships
18. If your mother or father have friends who aren't mobile, arrange for transport, so they can get together routinely
19. Set your mother or father up and teach her how to use Facebook, WhatsApp, Messenger, Facetime, Skype, etc... so she can keep in touch with family and friends far and wide
Family Experiences & Quality Time
20. Take your mother or father on a family trip (all girls trip, all boys trip, or all family trip)
21. Make sure your mother or father comes to all of the kid's birthday parties, plays, graduations and other seminal events (even the friends only ones)
22. Have your mother or father babysit the kids at your house or hers
23. Have the kids call your mother or father with their report cards
24. Take you mother or father out to a play, concert, museum, sporting event or movie
25. Take your mother or father out for coffee
26. Take your mother or father out for a picnic
27. Have your mother or father give you and the grand kids a tour of where she/he grew up
28. Ask your mother or father if she can create something for you that you would appreciate like a blanket, scarf, or painting
29. Record your mother or father giving an autobiography of her life and explanation of her family tree (can be a multi-session event)
30. Consider getting your mother or father a pet. Not only does a pet offer companionship, there's a whole network of pet owners out there she can bond with
31. Have your mother or father help cook holiday meals with you or vice versa
32. Ask your mother if she can cook (buy her the ingredients) your favorite meal or dessert for you and the grand kids
33.. Ask your mother to teach you and/or your kids how to cook her famous dishes, so they stay in the family!
Building New Social Networks
34. Create a buddy system in your mother or father's apartment, so neighbors check up on each other
35. Have your father take the kids fishing or hunting (or any other activity) on weekends
36. Have your father or mother drop the kids off, or pick them up, from school
37. Go for a regular weekly walk with your mother or father
38. Drive your mother or father to a friends so they can go for a regular weekly walk together
39. Have your mother or father go on a seniors trip with their friends
40. Have your mother or father join a seniors travel club
41. Have your mother or father join a social club like the Lion's Club, local Veterans Club, Red Hat Society, Toastmasters International
42. Consider having your mother or father move into a seniors residence, where they may find it easier to participate in group activities
43. Use Meetup.com to find groups and activities in your area
44. Encourage your mother or father to try online dating - help set up their profiles!
45. Encourage your mother or father to work part-time
Tech tips
Consider setting up your parent with:
- A tablet or iPad for easy video calling (larger screen than phones)
- Smart display devices (Amazon Echo Show, Google Nest Hub) for hands-free video calls
- Simple apps: FaceTime and What'sApp
- Provide them with a medical alert system for seniors, to give them comfort they're not alone
- Senior-friendly phones like Jitterbug or GrandPad designed for ease of use
So what's the recipe to help your parents avoid loneliness? The same as yours. Give them your time, love and support. Help them stay close to and involved in the family. Help them stay in touch with their friends and make new ones. Help them get involved in the community. The possibilities are endless!
Adriana Carr
February 14, 2020 at 10:20 am
Good morning,
Another great option would be to hire a companionship service that brings recreation and social visits to your parents. This solves the loneliness problem by giving your loved one consistent social engagement with someone who is as vested in their well-being as you are.
My company Senior Life Enrichment Consultants offers tailored in-home recreation visits to older adults in Northern Virginia as part of a well-rounded care management plan. Our sessions are fun, engaging, meaningful and relevant.
admin
February 14, 2020 at 12:52 pm
If people have the budget for it, it's a great idea Adriana. That said, we still believe that nothing can replace the fulfillment of time spent with family and friends. However, we understand that that's not a 24X7 option for everyone. Your service can be a great alternative.
Thanks for letting our readers know about it!
Marc & Trish